It was heaving at breakfast in the "Holiday Inn", we stoked up for the day with a cooked breakfast and I had a little Special K too. Then we set off for Beaulieu which also proved to be really heaving. We hadn't planned for there being an event on at "Beaulieu" around car enthusiasts doing up cars. Some of them weren't too good at it judging by the car we followed leaving the place with its indicators wired up the wrong way round. We went round the motor museum part, had an early slice of cake at the cafe before the masses, then strolled to the peaceful gardens admiring topiary inspired by "Alice in Wonderland". There was a private function going on in the old Abbey area, we treated ourselves to a generous ice cream cone from an outlet where Internet woes meant the lady wanted exact payment in cash. Saw an exhibition on the SOE, and also wandered round the stately home part, before heading off for the Horizon Cruise Terminal. For some reason Google Maps took us the wrong way but we found ABParking and started on the lengthy process of waiting to board. Didn't have to hand over the car keys this time. We then dragged our cases to where we waited ages for a coach to take us to the Queen Elizabeth Cruise Terminal where the Bolette was. We left our cases on the coach and I was most impressed when we got to our cabin to see them all there, gathered I assume by our helpful room stewardess "Nongnad". At the terminal we then entered the Covid lottery, we saw a few poor unfortunates who failed the lottery. It was a long wait in the Covid testing area before we were allowed through to a slowly moving queue for the check-in desks. A newly hired entertainment officer (who said she was hired after an advert on Facebook?) was gatekeeping the queue. Check-in was fairly normal though we were presented with watch-like track and trace efforts we're supposed to carry round with us on the ship. Couldn't find where I had put my glasses afterwards for a minute or two, we then headed for the security check. I feel like Brian Rix as I have to remove my belt to pass the scanner. We then walked onboard! All seemed to be going well! We met our steward Nongnad who guessed who we were. She directed us to our cabin where we discovered that our keycards didn't work. Happily a member of staff managed to let us in but we had to wait for a technician to come and fix the door lock. Watched the safety video, Virginia was not so eager about going to the muster station on the promenade deck. Only one wastebin in the cabin but there's plenty of storage. The cabin even has USB charging sockets which helps. Met with Susan and Steve and Joan and Ted at our table 79 in the Terrace which is too exposed to the sun for me - blinds did come down at points which helped. Reynald and Kumar are our waiters. Went to see the taster show in the Neptune Lounge - an energetic group of 10 performers!

We stayed the night before boarding in the Southampton area, as normal at the Holiday Inn Express there which worked fine. It was Halloween which might explain being greeted by a sneezing witch (you need to dress up warm if you fly around on a broomstick). Or the blood stains on the floor of our room which had seen better days. But it was fine particularly as the room rate was cheaper than when we stayed before. There's time to kill before one can start queueing to board. Virginia went to look at clothes in the West Quay Shopping Centre. I found waiting around for her a difficult experience. The Victoria Sponge in the Marks and Spencers cafe was welcome, and I enjoyed looking in the Lego shop there. Very inventive, amazing when I compare the large kits on offer with what I remember from my childhood. Perhaps too inventive? Preempting the chance for children to experiment themselves? The boarding process started with a Covid test at the Mayflower Terminal area. This I wasn't looking forward to, both because I dreaded one of us getting a positive, but also because I thought it was going to be physically unpleasant. In the event the medical technician didn't shove the swab far up my nose, and it didn't hurt. It came on to rain quite heavily soon after that, and I felt for the poor staff out directing cars in it. We then did a lot of waiting in various places. Waiting with other cars at the Ocean Terminal for the results of the Covid test to be texted through. Waiting at the terminal for a verbal health check. (The one doing the checking in told us to see her colleague in a red jacket, they were all wearing red jackets). Waiting to go to a check-in desk. Waiting to be called to go through security. Waiting in the security queue. Waiting to board the Queen Elizabeth. But we did eventually board, and found our cabin to be greeted by Ryan our cabin steward who had already placed 3 of our 4 bags in the cabin. Always nice when your bags turn up. Virginia's pink bag turned up later. There's a lot of trust in this process. The questions they asked about Covid relied on your being truthful. They didn't check travel insurance just relied on you saying you had it. The cabin cards were left outside the door. This time we didn't have to all congregate at a muster station at a set time. It was enough to watch a video then go and get our cabin cards scanned at the Assembly Station C. And listen to the captain at 4:45pm. As we had another excursion cancelled we went to the Tours Desk and booked to see some gardens in Madeira instead. I was impressed by the Tours lady not apparently needing to know who we were when she made the booking for us. Perhaps we're more famous than I thought as unlikely as that is. We met our fellow evening diners on table 360 (appropriately a round table!) We shared how difficult it was with all the form filling needed - a couple of older women told us that one old dear had come from Birmingham and had been turned back because she hadn't done any of the forms required. There seemed to be fewer diners than our previous cruise on the "Queen Elizabeth". Relaxed a little before turning in this evening. After it all we are now under way!

I didn't charge my iPhone enough so worried while we were out today that it would expire, and we would be lost in the wilds of rural England subject to highwaymen and women. We also had a worry that Virginia might have left her jacket behind at somewhere we visited, happily it was safe at home. We had a long trip to the Hawk Conservancy Trust which was a highlight of this holiday. It had plenty to see - some birds tethered to restrict their movement, some in cages, burrowing owls (a new kind of owl to me). We saw a very good display attended by lots of people including a coach load of students! There was a wedding party togged up watching on a balcony overlooking the fun. The display culminated in a simulated grass fire. The secretary bird didn't fly so much as stamped viciously on a rubber snake. We just beat the horde to the Feathers Restaurant for lunch. Curiously Google Maps took us a completely different way back. In the evening we dined at the Rockingham Arms - a cross between an olde traditional pub with typical pub signs inside and a new stylish building with gleaming pumps and straight lines. There was a shop selling designer stuff including Christmas decorations which Virginia got some of. The food was great but came as artistically shaped pillars on the plate. Many of the clientele came in suits and natty dresses so this was a posh place to consume grub in. Strangely nearly everyone one seemed to have dogs with them, I had a giant alsatian eyeing up my calf muscles so we didn't stay for tea and coffee. We did have a dessert, for once I got sponge pudding free of dates and raisins and figs and sultanas. There was an insect on the window sill by us which kept ending up on its back and needing help.

We saw the expansive Hilliers Gardens this morning, and had lunch there (I had a not so exciting bacon sandwich backed up by a flapjack). As an additional attraction they had imported coachloads of schoolchildren. The gardens themselves were impressive in scale and variety - we tired ourselves out walking along and round and up and down and through. The centenary border is long and colourful. There were plenty of benches to sit on and relax and do crosswords. But I hadn't brought my crossword book. Dined at the Hatchet Inn, a very traditional feeling 1700s pub! Wooden booths outside for smokers, a bar telephone answering service.

Virginia and I drove down the day before the cruise started, packing the bags into the back of Virginia's Kia estate (larger than my Kia). The boot of the Kia estate is smaller than the Skoda she used to drive, we recently got two new medium suitcases so the cases would all fit into the boot. We stopped at South Mimms on the A1 for nourishment at Tossed there which was OK. There's a Burger King and KFC there, perhaps less healthy, the last time we had something from KFC it was more than we needed. Increasingly one can order from terminals rather than at the counter which does make the process of ordering less intimidating. You have more time to work out what's available, less pressure of people waiting behind you. There was a lot of congestion and slow moving all the way along the M25 and then the M3 on the Friday, and even around our normal overnight stay of the Holiday Inn Express Southampton M27, loads of cricket fans swarming the area despite the rain. There is an arena close by the hotel. We were glad for the drive down that temperatures were not as extreme as they could be. We had an evening meal at a nearby Pizza Hut (I do like a pepperoni pizza). On the Saturday morning we went to Mottisfont a National Trust place. An interesting place for the trompe d'oeil work inside tricking the eye. Doors which aren't real doors, doors where there seem to be doors. Coincidentally they were having a Beano exhibition there. The National Trust have reworked the site a lot since we last went, new plusher entrance, more facilities. We went round the house, saw some of the Beano exhibition, walked round the gardens where the roses weren't blooming. The weather was up and down, I failed to have a cap on me and had to improvise with a pullover when the sun unexpectedly shone. We had an ice cream cone each from one of the National Trust food vendors who seemed lonely. The mistake of not taking a cap with me I repeated in Olden. I also only took trainers and a pair of black lace-ups for formal nights - a pair of sandals would have been a good idea. The black shoes disintegrated and I'd better order another pair from Hotter Shoes.

Virginia and I stayed the night before the cruise at the Holiday Inn Express Southampton M27, eating out at a nearby "Pizza Hut". Tabitha and Amelia had been parked in Hardwick at the the Angelite Cats Hotel. On the Friday morning we spent the time by seeing Manor Park Farm which has a long access lane with plenty of enthusiastic speed bumps. There's a quaint small old Church near a romantic pond, an old style house with an old style school room (back in the days where you learnt multiplication tables). Animals can be milked among other attractions for the young. After lunch there it was time to board our first Cunard ship, the Queen Elizabeth. The first difference to our previous cruises with P&O and Fred Olsen was how fast we boarded. When we arrived at the Ocean Cruise Terminal we were immediately directed to lane 2 for unloading our luggage - and then immediately directed to check in on entering the cruise terminal - and then immediately through security onto the ship! Happenstance? I don't know. One of Virginia's cases lost its luggage labels and didn't turn up for a while, but our pleasant hardworking cabin stewardess Virna tracked it down for us. The staff work very hard and long hours - I noted one vacuuming with the vacuum cleaner on her back. There was more of a mix of nationalities on board - we had an Arab captain and plenty of American and German and other passengers. The Americans did complain about the ethnocentric bias of the quizzes which we enjoyed doing, particularly enjoying those led by a Lancashire lass Laura who was fun. Passenger density seemed less than other ships, the theatre always seemed to have space, good banking in the stalls which was just as well as upstairs the protective plastic distorted the view. They showed films in the theatre which worked well, but not the Shakespeare plays we were half expecting. The entertainment was similar to P&O and Fred Olsen. A talented pianist Maria Marchant did several performances in the multiple use Queens Room. The ship felt to me of an older style, decor-wise, the luxury feel of suited attendants welcoming you with a harpist playing. Cunard checked the room cards (both ours stopped working during the cruise a common occurrence) at the muster drill. They also use dollars on board which makes the final accounts more frightening. Perhaps spending dollars may encourage more spending if you remember when it was 3 dollars to the pound? Cunard didn't have casual wear in the evenings unlike other cruise lines. We were on the early evening sitting in the Britannia restaurant and had a very good table, really friendly table companions. Table 600 had good views but for me the sun was a problem there, and also people were walking past on the promenade deck (some even running). The waiters were adroit with the lemons, squeezing them into a spoon and then pouring lemon juice from the spoon. There was no arguing if you complained about a dish, you would be offered a replacement. We went to the Verandah twice for great elaborate meals, I particularly recommend the vanilla souffle. No crispy fried bread in the morning which I missed. There were a number of places one could eat, we had fish and chips in the 'pub' on the last day. Our cabin was fine though during port days there was a lot of noise from them testing lifeboats etc. We didn't do a lot of shopping on board, had to get a sewing kit for Virginia to temporarily repair my glasses which lost a screw - and we also got some napkin rings from the Russian bazaar cum scrum.

We counted down the months. We counted down the weeks. We counted down the days. At last the non-working day arrived, the day on which we had to ensure the spare bed room was sealed up so Amelia couldn't hide inside it, the day on which clothes were packed in cases cluttering up the lounge, the day of have we got everything together? Our poor cats, Tabitha and Amelia, were transported in their carriers to the "Grange Cattery" in Waterbeach and the kind care of Phyllis. The road had been improved in places, but still bumpy and undulating. It may be the last time they go there as Phyllis is in her 60s, and the landlord has planned building works which will shut the cattery. Disturbingly (but necessarily I guess) Phyllis asked what to do if Tabitha died while we were away - we settled for having her frozen at the vets so we could cremate her later. An easy drive down - Ginny drove to the Macdonalds at Royston where we had a drink each, convenient one can order at a touchscreen, then I drove to South Mimms where we favoured KFC. The Satnav to my concern didn't take us down the M3, but instead the A3 which was fine if not better as the M3 has always had roadworks on it when we've gone along it. We were glad as we arrived too early to check in to find a Harvester on the outskirts of Portsmouth at Great Salterns with good views of the sea. I had an apple 'bomb' which happily didn't contain sultanas. The Satnav lulled us into a false sense of security by navigating us safely to what I imagined was a B&B but proved to be the upmarket Number 4 Boutique Hotel. Just as well we were on the ground floor in room 1 as we had five cases to manhandle in from the car! A helpful receptionist "Daga" seemed miffed we didn't ask her to help with moving the cases. Instead of going back to the Harvester we used the free Wi-Fi to check out nearby restaurants, and settled on a tapas place Nicholsons which was an easy walk up the street. The baked mushroom starter was splendid, the shared main course of paella was a little stodgy to me. Room was hot as the heating was on, also heard noise from next room a bit. I survived the time by watching four episodes of a Korean TV drama "Ghost" until we left.

Virginia and I stay near Winchester in Hampshire, see National Trust places like Uppark and Hinton Ampner, and the Naval Dockyard in Portsmouth.

We checked out of the Holiday Inn Southampton City hotel (£7 to rescue the car from the car park, another incentive to not use that hotel), then had breakfast at the nearby "Frankie and Bennys". We were the only patrons there, nice and relaxed, Virginia chose best with her sausage muffin rather than my Eggs Benedict. The restaurant had a machine you entered your licence plate into for the Leisure World car park. We then trusted our Satnav again to get us to Beaulieu. As luck would have it the attraction was infested with school children. We admired the vintage cars and recreated period shops, a Chitty Bang Bang car from the film. Virginia braved the vintage monorail system too, and we saw the staff in costume at the Palace House (period kitchen, portraits on walls, stuffed birds), dipped into the Abbey, and had soup at the Brabazon Restaurant. Worth visiting once. Time to venture to the cruise terminal. A confusing process of stop car in one place, lose the luggage, then guess one was meant to move the car to another place where one handed over car keys in exchange for a piece of paper. Impressively our luggage all made to our cabin before us (thanks to our cabin stewardess "Atitaya"), often we get on board and worry if we will see our suitcases again. Things got better as the cruise terminal was being improved, and we were actually processed all crammed together in a temporary tent. The chairs all touched so you felt it as someone else sat down. A labyrinthine process of checking in and security culminated in a walk through a real labyrinth of colourful plastic sheeting and glass and metal. Which happily ended on board the ship! The cheerful and helpful staff, lined up by the lifts, guided us to our cabin 4050 which atavistically has portholes (quite heavy to manipulate). Plenty of coat hangers though we didn't find them at first. Plenty of seats at the muster drill, I did wonder if the ship wasn't completely full as often at muster drills there doesn't seem to be enough space. Next event was the first sitting for dinner in the Four Seasons restaurant. We met our dining companions Roy and Margaret and Shirley and Barbara who made a a good table to be on. One of the plusses of the Boudicca being a smaller ship is we more often bumped into them onboard. Went to the Neptune Lounge for the resident theatre company to dance and sing songs by Queen, Elton John, etc. They were lively and energetic and not pretentious. The Neptune Lounge isn't ideal for shows as few people have a clear view of the stage. On the Fred Olsen ships a lot of the music and sound desk is done by non-Europeans who are also the waiters and cabin stewards. To me they're just as good as Europeans.

Holidays are stressful. That's why we like to go on cruises. You reach the terminal, the bags vanish, the car vanishes, and you walk through the glass maze onto the ship. And relax. No need to find where you're staying each night. No need to find somewhere to eat each night. No rushing around, you go at the speed of a ship not at the speed of a plane. (You don't avoid all stresses true: the stress of the Satnav taking you down what looks like a side street in the wrong direction, or worrying if you got all the documents needed, or worrying that all the cases will appear outside the cabin, etc. There's always something to worry about.) We drove down the day before, having dropped the cats off with Auntie Phyllis of "Grange Boarding Cattery". Less worry about getting there on time the day itself. We stayed at the Holiday Inn Express Southampton M27, and as we had taken my car sat out the morning at the hotel (along with other passengers) rather than try to see somewhere local to pass the time (bags had to sit on the back seat of my voiture). Virginia voted for lunch at KFC, then the Satnav got us to the right terminal despite my distrust. The bags and car vanished thanks to Cruise Parking Services. After sitting a while at the terminal green letter L was paraded, and we got our boarding cards at the desk. Through security, and a simple glass maze then onto the massive Azura! Similar but much pleasanter than the analogue at an airport. We were too early to go straight to our cabin so had the first of an expensive series of drinks at an alfresco bar before 2pm came, and we could do the next ritual. Waiting in the cabin for the bags to appear. We're old hands for the next ritual (the muster with life jacket drill) for which you get there early. The Azura has more room so few if any stood. Found ourselves on table 2 in the Oriental Restaurant first sitting, very pleasant table companions. Having to slow down as one does on a ship makes most people more genial. The first of the special surprises on this cruise took place while we were eating - the captain announced Code Alpha in Meridian restaurant.

We travelled down on Sunday afternoon and stayed overnight at a Holiday Inn Express Southampton M27. This worked well, avoiding any panics travelling down on the day that the ship left itself. Dined at a nearby Pizza Hut and was revolted to see a bloated Brit woman licking the serving spoons for the dressings at the salad bar. Civilisation is skin deep here. On the Monday we went to Mottisfont where socialite / art lover Maud Russell used to live. The name Mottisfont may be derived from 'Moot' and 'Font' (or spring which is still going strong.) The house contains a number of illusions like a bookcase which is really a door, a flat wall which seems to bend, paint pots which are part of the painting. We all play games, different games.