I decided to get to London City Airport early, and have breakfast there. Discovered I was far too early so I had a bowl of porridge with a dollop of honey. The place I patronised was out of spoons which made life interesting. I had also discovered I had left the luggage tags behind, and if I had been sensible I would have taken the Euros I had for when I transitted Amsterdam and Paris. Silly me.

Only minor hiccup was the Oyster card flashed red when I tried to swipe but it proved to be I was out of credit, and the machines worked well so I could top it painlessly.

London City Airport proved to be an oasis of peace and quiet compared with Heathrow. Plenty of seats to sit in, no queues. I bought a Telegraph as it came with a free bottle of water, then left the unwanted newspaper behind.

Two crosswords later (both of which Mum had started long ago) I reached Schipol airport. The CityJet flight was tricky to stow one's luggage - a lot of the overhead compartments were half height. They served drink and snacks which I wasn't expecting. At Amsterdam I treated myself to a bowl of Japanese style udon soy sakai (vegetable) noodles to get acclimatised. For this purpose egg is a vegetable judging by it appearing in my bowl.

In Amsterdam they stop you taking bottles of water on board the plane. However I discovered they're happy for you to take an empty bottle and fill it from a convenient water fountain inside the holding pen for passengers to be boarded. I thought that was a good omen - it wasn't. We were an hour and a half late taking off due to a starter motor failing on an engine. I found myself rather too close to a family with young children. Sleep was at a premium.

I missed out on the Japanese style meal and instead had the Hobson's choice of pallid pasta which gave me an upset stomach to begin the holiday with. One Japanese dame managed to throw the contents of a cup of water my way. Breakfast was inedible - why do people think yoghurt is good for you?